Monday, November 23, 2015

VLO

Three years ago today, I was in Celebration, FL. Unfortunately, our reason for being there was not in keeping with the name of the town. We were in Celebration Hospital with my mom who had suffered a stroke the day before Thanksgiving and hadn't regained consciousness. I had ridden from Decatur, AL to Celebration with my sister -- I specify ridden as this was still within my six-month driving restriction following the seizures i had had in September of that year. Shortly after we arrived, the day after Thanksgiving that year - joining my dad, brother, and sister-in-law, and had been instructed to say our goodbyes, the nurse informed us she was gone. I looked at the clock at that moment: 7:12 a.m. Sticks in the memory quite clearly since my birthday is July 12th.

And such began the process of adjusting to a new "normal" -- living life without my mom. There have been so many times where after cooking something new I've wanted to call and tell her about it, something I often did "before," and it hits me all over again. And then this past May was rough during Jacob's 8th grade graduation, knowing she wouldn't be there for the milestones. Mother's Day since has been bittersweet in that it's been nice celebrating being a mother, but hard not having mine. And Thanksgiving has become rather melancholy. I have many things to be thankful for, and I am, but it's hard with the details of her passing around the holiday.

For some reason, it’s hitting me extra hard this year. In some ways, it feels longer than three years that she’s been gone… in some ways, it feels like it was much more recent. But time marches on and all I can do is try to carry on in a way to make her proud and honor her memory. One such way is continuing to raise money and awareness for the MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Society, a disease she was diagnosed with before I was born. One that I watched her struggle with all through my life and one that, while not the cause of her death, definitely took a huge toll on her body. I love you, Mom. I miss you.

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